The Waiting Room

Five people waiting in waiting room

My annual mammogram was Friday.  I progressed to annual scans last year after having one every six months once my cancer was removed and treatments were over.

In May of 2013, my daughter and son-in-law had just bought their first house and as they were making changes to make it their own, I was helping them paint – which was an every-room-in-the-house-except-one undertaking.  The three girls – my daughter, granddaughter and myself – had a trip to Savannah and Tybee Island, Georgia planned for Memorial Day.  All was well and summer cookouts at my daughter’s new home were being eagerly anticipated.

I remember where I was when I got the call.  I had reached over to pick up a gallon of Kilz at Lowe’s when my phone rang.  And I’m not one to answer a call if I don’t recognize the number, especially if I know all my people are accounted for and I’m busy.  But something nudged me that this was a call that I should answer.  And it began.  The uncertainties, the fear, the what-ifs, the ‘what songs do I want them to play at my funeral’ thoughts.

I’ll not drag this out into all the intricate details that ravaged my body and mind that summer three years ago.  I was most fortunate and most blessed for the cancer to have been caught at just the precise time that it could be managed before it could metastasize.  And I have a phenomenal breast cancer surgeon.

But, once having been there, I can’t help but feel anxious whenever May rolls around and I go into the waiting game to be told the results of the scan.  I’m not a superstitious person – the only one I’ve ever claimed to adhere to was done just to make my daughter smile and shake her head at me.  Have you ever heard the one that says if you’re walking along with someone you love and you come to a pole or post you’re not supposed to let the pole come between you or it’s bad luck for the two of you?  Just imagine the years with a teenage and then young adult daughter…she would actually backtrack and go around a pole the opposite way just to see if I’d follow – which I never failed to do.   We received some very strange looks more than a few times as we cut up around the poles.

But this year is different from last May.  This year I’ve just finished painting my own bedroom but the ladder is still leaning against the wall in the master bathroom, waiting to be put to use.  And we have a ten day trip to Maui coming up in three weeks.  Several people told me I should just postpone the mammogram until after the trip so I wouldn’t have to deal with it until afterwards.  But, after considering it, I saw that as a coward’s way out.

As I sat in the waiting room on Friday, trying not to think about the similarities in my life now to when I was first diagnosed three years ago – what with the painting and the trip –  conversations around me started to penetrate my thoughts and flood out my anxiety.  I sat with my back to those talking but I learned that one of them was a school teacher that has a group of high school students who come to her desk practically every morning to pray.  Other teachers tell her she shouldn’t allow it to avoid trouble, but as long as they want to pray, she said she would never tell them that they can’t.

An older gentlemen spoke up and said the world’s gone to hell in a handbasket and doesn’t even have sense enough to know it and if people don’t wake up real soon they’re going to be left behind because God’s blowing His trumpet and is about to make His re-appearance.

This led to more people agreeing with him and quoting scripture after scripture from the Bible.  It went on about ten minutes before a little lady walked up to the man and put her hand on his arm.  He told everyone that he needed to get her home since she is the one who feeds him and he needed to feed his dogs. As they were walking out the door, my name was called and I hadn’t thought too much more about that waiting room incident until today.

There is so much going on in our world today that makes me feel that I’m truly a stranger in my own land.  I don’t need to go into listing all these either, we all know what they are and they’re too many and just too downright depressing to subject ourselves to talking about anymore than we have to.  And I’m talking the global scale here.  There is much that we can do locally and within our own spheres of influence to tip the bucket.

As unusual as our world is, so are occurrences that happened in that waiting room.  The people in that conversation were widely varied in not only age, but in skin color and nationality.  Even though the five people on my side of the area were quietly eaves-dropping, we each looked around the room and really saw one another.  It was as if none of us were strangers for those fleeting moments – and then it was gone as if it had never happened.

My point is this – could it be that the ridiculousness of life is actually going to pull us together, as I witnessed and felt in that room Friday?  Could it get to the point that we are all so fed up that that itself is the common ground we share – that we’ve just had enough?  And once we get there – hold your breath and really consider this – once we’ve all REALLY had enough, could it not be a real possibility that kindness would prevail?

 

I’ve not given my mammogram too much thought this time around.  I see my doctor on Thursday for her to read the results.  I have peace and I know the PeaceKeeper.  My future is secure, come what may.  But to all my new and precious friends that are growing here, I’ll update you on my next post.

 

 

88 thoughts on “The Waiting Room

  1. Wow! Absolutely love this! I wish I had something more insightful to say but this honestly put cancer in a new perspective and I am able to try to understand my mom situation even more.

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  2. U are a brave person, rem different things real terrible happ to all ,but faith, charity positive attitude will let the most massive troubles pass , u may love happy healthy years amen 👨‍❤️‍👨

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  3. That’s always good, when something comes out of comment dialogue. I love it. That’s why’ve am asking WordPress for a chat feature!

    The exchange has had me thinking too. I was struggling with being alone after my husband had passed on a few years before, thus the depression I could not cope with, even with my strong faith. Then came cancer. I actually got a whole new lease on life, on my own. I still miss my husband after 10 years, but I am so busy with activities in my life now and have learned how to live much more independently through it all. There are new life lessons every day. Such a journey!

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    • I can understand exactly what you mean. My husband’s infidelity cost me my first marriage, and my husband’s death took my second one. He passed away in 2004. It truly wasn’t until our talk earlier this week that I realized that before my cancer I had harbored resentment at being alone. In fact, a friend and I discussed today this realization I had as you and I discussed our cancer blessings. I’m thankful to you for opening my eyes to this. And I am glad to hear that your life is now a journey that you are enjoying. We are still here for a reason, and we can’t find our purposes and uses if we’re mired up in ourselves.

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      • Our journeys are similar in some ways it seems…
        My husband passed away in 2006. I went through a bit of a crisis of faith as I asked God why He had taken him away from me and what was I supposed to do now? Over time, I saw God in it all, that there were things I had to learn, life lessons, that could only be learned as I went through life alone. As I told you, the cancer experience conquered my fear of death and set life priorities straight. Dealing with that, and the depression prior and after cancer brought healing into my life on so many levels. I still struggle to fight depression, and sometimes loneliness, at times, but I learned many strategies on how to cope and conquer. I’ve been so blessed. God is good!

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        • Your comments are encouraging to me. There is still a part of me that just doesn’t feel quite right – like something is always a bit ‘off-kilter’…..but I’ve grown to just live with it. I don’t see it necessarily as a bad thing, just not something I would chosen for myself. I never would have dreamed I’d end up alone so early. I was 43 when my husband passed away.

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          • I hope this comment lands in the right place in our discussion 😉

            I was 57. I thought he and I were set to go into old age together. I never imagined to future without him in it. If anything, I thought I’d go first and I worried about leaving him alone. Never dreamed I’d be the one left behind, alone.

            Beginning new relationships is a daunting thought, fraught with all kinds of complications at this time of life, late 60’s, but I find I do long for companionship. However, I still have things to learn about being on my own, I think.

            I’m glad God is patient with me! 😉

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            • At this point, whether our comments land where they should or not, I’m with you now and have no need to reference back. I, too, would like companionship – but I’m afraid that I’ve come too far for it to become a reality. I work at a stressful job, so my days are consumed there. My evenings are even more busier than my days…although my evenings stay busy with the things that make me feel complete. I quilt ‘Memory Quilts’ for customers, blogging now takes a great amount of time, I help out with my granddaughter’s many involvements and I still have a great love of sitting down with a good book. I don’t think I’d be willing to give any of those up now that I’ve come so far in filling my time. I’ve always said if God intends for me to have a man, He’ll have to place a dog-gone determined one down in front of me. I have a peace about that not going to happen… But…I believe for one who is ready, there is one He’ll provide. So keep your eyes and mind at least open to the possibility, and who knows the gentle soul that presents!

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  4. Isn’t this journey with cancer just something else? I’m so happy for the many lessons that the scariest thing in my life has taught me about myself, my priorities and life in general! Thanks for sharing your journey 🙂

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      • Some of the blessings that have come out of it for me are closeness with my family, better all around health through foods and nutrition, as well as exercise and weight loss. I dealt also with my fear of death. Many other blessings too…..

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        • I can really appreciate all those blessings and to a degree received them as well through my cancer fight, but to actually at this moment answer truthfully what my biggest blessing was surprises me. It’s odd, and may not be understand, but I’d have to say that I finally learned how to be happily alone……wow….I think you may have just helped me stumble onto a new post prompt?!

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            • Oh, I see it posted elsewhere……how strange! I’ll repost it here.

              “That’s always good, when something, a new post idea, perhaps, comes out of comment dialogue. I love it. That’s why’ve am asking WordPress for a chat feature!

              The exchange has had me thinking too. I was struggling with being alone after my husband had passed on a few years before, thus the depression I could not cope with, even with my strong faith. Then came cancer. I actually got a whole new lease on life, on my own. I still miss my husband after 10 years, but I am so busy with activities in my life now and have learned how to live much more independently through it all. There are new life lessons every day. Such a journey!”

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  5. I have those feelings every day. Not just in a waiting room. I told fought breast cancer. It was a grueling year of chemo, infusions and radiation. Two weeks after radiation I had pre-colon cancer. One month later I was told I had a gene mutation that causes many cancers. I was advised to have a hysterectomy. I have thyroiditis, hashimotos and am prone to thyroid cancer, lung cancer and skin cancer to name a few. Recently they found a spot on my lung. My appointment is in a couple of weeks. I get it. That feeling you get when you were first told “I’m sorry to have to tell you but you have cancer!” Thank you for sharing. You are not alone. I pray your report is positive and I pray Maui treats you as wonderful as it treats me every year I travel there. God bless you!

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    • Hi Velma, I wrote out a long comment to your comment above and I don’t see it here….If it has shown up twice somewhere in blogland, please excuse whatever error caused it….but I just want to say that my heart goes out to you….and to me that means that we, as brothers and sisters in Christ, should continually life up our brothers and sisters to our Father – and that’s what I mean when I say my heart goes out to someone…..You are a strong woman, one whose voice conveys the message that you’re not going to the let cancer get the best of your day, month or year. I’ve started a ‘blog prayer list’ and your name was just handwritten on the list. Just know that prayers are being lifted all over for you and God’s continually carrying you through. I hope you will update us blog friends of your results in a couple of weeks. I’m praying for and with you!!

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      • Thank you so much for this Tammi and thank you for the prayers. I am deeply touched. I too believe we are all brothers and sisters in Christ and believe it’s our duty to pray for one another and support each other. Cancer is a horrible disease but through the grace of god I’m still standing despite the many challenges that continue to come my way. I pray one day my story will be an inspiration to many others to keep fighting and believe healing is possible through gods grace. Thank you so much. I will lift you up in prayer and give thanks for your encouragement and prayers.

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        • I believe that everything happens for a reason…..and God’s preparing you for His use, so never doubt that your story will be an inspiration. All we are and hope to be is for His glory. So don’t doubt that you are an inspiration – you already are. I am sure I am by far not the only one that your tremendous spirit in the face of such uncertainty has touched.

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  6. Hi! I don’t believe in god, but but this made me think of something that’s happening in my life gives that gives me the waiting room feeling. A couple of years ago I developed a spine problem. I had to start walking with a cane. Suddenly other people with canes started smiling at me. I smiled back. 😊 it’s such a warm fuzzy feeling. We can relate about so many things that ‘regular’ people just can’t. 🌠🌻🌠

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    • That’s a perception that I haven’t experienced – from the standpoint of using a cane – but a very good point. That things like the cane, or deafness, or a myriad of other things that can ail us pulls strangers together also on a day-to-day basis just in passing. I know this isn’t really your point, but I know when I see someone now with a cane that I will think twice and make an extra effort to go out of my way somehow to put myself in the light of contact with that person….just so I might experience that warm fuzzy feeling..Even though I don’t have a cane, based on your comment, those who do may have some extra genes of kindness that those who don’t have a cane have to work to find! If that makes sense!! And I just can’t help myself from asking you this because you are the first person since I started blogging who has came right out and said that you don’t believe in God – so my fascination is getting the best of me…..please take this as what it is – a 100% not preaching, just talking and curious question……. if you don’t believe in God, now don’t laugh, and I am not being rash – I’m serious and hope you’ll answer me……If you don’t believe in God, do you believe you descended from an ape? Or is there another belief that I’m not aware of? I’m serious……I’m curious is the only reason I’m asking……please don’t be offended…..I didn’t know how else to ask it…..

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      • I’m really glad you can feel what I mean about the cane.💜 I’m not offended at all, I promise! Haha! I am confident in my beliefs am not afraid to voice them. Yes, I believe firmly in evolution. Do you think it might have been offensive to ask me if I was descended from an ape? I don’t mind questions.😀 I don’t see anything offensive or negative to be descended from an ape, which is not how i would say it. I would talk about it in the context of Darwinian evolution, in other words, science. We will continue to evolve. 😀💖

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        • Thank you so much for your answer! I guess I am so used to people taking an immediate offensive stance against ANY question that I really wanted you to know that I was not asking from a argumentative point of view. Just curious. I think that I’ve never given the Darwinian theory enough thought – even in college I purposefully stayed away from electives that would confront the issue – I hadn’t yet learned to be subjective to all views in ALL situations.
          But to take away the ‘ape’ form of the question and replace it with scientific data makes more sense. It’s very hard for me to delve into studying Darwin because I want to get straight to the answers that I would seek to know. And that’s hard to get to without going through all the scientific statements leading up to my questions. It’s felt like the theory has to convince me of something before it answers me. And I’m one who wants an answer first, then combined with the facts of both conjectures, I test it against my own hypotheses.
          Do you write of this on your blog? I don’t remember reading it if you do, but I’ll check it out more.

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          • I appreciate your answer, as well! You were asking questions that get people worked up. I’m open minded and tolerant so I can discuss it calmly, and without making assumptions. You are more tolerant than you think. My answer didn’t make you angry or offended. I totally understand what you mean about having to avoid explanations set up to bait you or accuse you. I haven’t written about anything like this in my blog because god doesn’t enter my mind much. Also, I don’t want to bring on the arguments (I don’t mind talking about it with you in a non-judgemental discussion) which can turn really negative, on both sides. I mostly talk about art and my life. Lately I’ve been totally unable to write anything much at all.

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            • How true your words are….if we could all get to the point where we could discuss and accept each other without letting our differences ‘evolve’ to hate because of those differences, imagine how the world could be….but, alas, that would be utopia. It is very evident that the point to which we, as a society, have thus far evolved to is not such a grand place. But there are those, such as yourself, who strive to contribute a positive affect rather than a negative – your artwork is an example – your colors burst and all who are witness to them cannot help but get a momentary glimpse of joy. Another example is your willingness to converse with me on this topic. You have given me the hope – and the timid know-how – to have a bit more belief that there are truly people who are still human enough to do so. I know you don’t believe, but I do, so please allow me, for whatever it’s worth, to ask God’s blessings on you. I wish we could sit down and do one of those “if we were having coffee” prompts that I keep running across here….but with a real cup of coffee. I hope you have a grand day!

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              • I’m so glad my words and my art made you feel good and thank you for saying that what I do could do good to people! I really think communication is the key, but it has to be the kind of communication you and I have talked about! I know a few people who have asked to pray for me. I welcome them. They’re done in a kind, caring way and are not pushed on me, it seems really nice. When people are having a hard time, when you would pray for them, I tell them I’ll keep them in my thoughts, and i really do. I think it’s sort of similar. I would love to have coffee face to face. Hugs! I plan to have a grand day. I have to get some labs done, but the majority of my day will be spent painting!!! I hope your day goes smoothly and you have some fun!!!❤❤

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                • I agree – I think having and keeping someone whose touched your heart for whatever reason in your thoughts is very similar to praying for someone. The few words you and I have spoken have done wonders at whittling away at some of my lack of faith in people in general. Thank you! I’m sure we’ll talk again along the way…..

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  7. Tammi, I’m so glad you found me so I could find you back. Your post right here really grabbed me. That sense of bewilderment. Boy. Don’t we feel it every day as we watch the news and feel like we are literally on another planet? This can’t be true, right? Feels like a really bad scifi novel. Anyway. You’re a beautiful writer and I am so glad to hear your news from the scan was good. I have a feeling that the world is a much better place with people like you in it! I’m really glad you enjoy my artwork and I look forward to following your adventures. Have a wonderful trip! And now I’m going to YouTube to play “Good Good Father” again. I just love that song (referred to in one of the comments above). Sending prayers for continued good health your way, Tammi!

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    • Thank you, Laura, for your beautiful comments. You truly brought tears to my eyes. No wonder the colors in your artwork are so joyful……the person behind them is a true light! You, too, are definitely one of the people who make this world a better place, and never doubt it! The more bewildered I feel in this alien-ish world, the more convinced I am that I should concentrate on things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely and of good report – that was a lesson that was brought home to me pretty hard as I almost let myself get caught up in a ‘blasting’ type of response to an article I read here – that was the source of my “Apology” post last month…..I look forward to your joyful posts as well – with the first look they make me feel lighter!

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  8. Hi,
    I have only been using a blog for a few months to relay my writing. I came across your lovely pages by exploring and enjoying other worlds besides my own, and came across a rather lovely and encouraging comment made by you. I am so glad I did. Your stories have touched me and a connection was made. This past April marked my 15th anniversary since my breast cancer…next year sees another 3 yearly screening and I don’t live in dread anymore. I just wanted to say, and to offer this as a comfort if you like, that as you have showed too, all is not doom and gloom or at least the odds are sometimes on our side. I am not a religious person but respect and hope that your god continues to take care of you too!

    best wishes.

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    • What wonderful comments – thank you! And yes, it is encouraging to hear of your 15 years cancer-free! In the midst of so many struggling to find their way through a cancer diagnosis, treatments, then the days following – the wonderful stories such as yours tend not to be heard. But I hear you! And thank you for letting me know….I now have TWO I can lean on — If you read my post about my doctor that followed this one – you saw where I included a picture of the receptionist, Brenda. She is a 26 year breast cancer survivor and she’s told me that she’s never forgotten the lessons she learned having came out on the other side. And her spirit is proof of it – I’m sure yours is also or you would not have taken the time to gift me with your victory over the dreadful disease. Thank you – and I wish you the best in your writing! I look forward to reading more!

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      • Indeed I did, and I think when we come out the other side of something like this, it is all we can do, without thinking often, is to make it somewhat better if we can for others – given it could have been so much worse. And feel free to Lean anytime. Take care.

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  9. Happy hump day! Sorry I’ve been out of touch; I am back in action again (I bet you know how that is). Stay tuned for more regular postings! I’d love it if you could tell me what you’d like to see more of: travel, bucket list, pilot-wife-life, lifestyle, yoga, or turquoise inspiration (or all of the above, lol)!
    Jessica, Turquoise Compass

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  10. Tammi, I can so relate to you answering that phone call. My doctor called me at home on a Saturday morning to tell me I had cancer. That’s something you never forget. You’re in my prayers for a clean bill of health.

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    • Thank you, Carol. Yes, you know what I mean about the phone call then. That is definitely a moment we remember vividly. I’m ‘growing’ a list of people that I am calling my Blogging Prayer List…..I don’t know where you are in your journey with cancer right now, and I hope it’s in the place I hope I am – where it’s gone and doesn’t come back – but wherever you are, I know you’re life is never quite the same afterwards. I’m putting you on my list.

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      • I’ve been very blessed, Tammi. I had uterine cancer and had a hysterectomy in Nov 2014. The cancer hadn’t spread to my lymph nodes so I didn’t need chemo. I’ve been cancer-free since then. Thanks for putting me on your list ~ every prayer helps.

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  11. Tammi you are In my prayers, sorry I did not keep in touch with you after Roy died, not such a good friend huh? I am happily married and would like you to meet my wife Laurie. We have been married for 18 years. May God Bless you, Joe Friend

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    • Hi there, Joe! It’s great to hear from you! I would love to see you and meet your wife. This may sound odd, but everytime I hear a Fleetwood Mac or Stevie Nicks song I think of you – – I remember a conversation you and I had in my living room many, many years ago about what a classy lady Stevie was/is! Now when you hear one I hope you smile knowing I’d be thinking of you if I were the one hearing it — which I do often since they’re still one of my favorites!

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    • Thank you, Mackie! Even though we don’t get to talk often – except when we run into each other in Walmart during Christmas season – I never have a birthday now without thinking of you!

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  12. I will be thinking about you and your results. It sounds like you are at peace with whatever they will be and that’s good. We don’t have any control anyway and worrying about something never stopped it from happening…. I will pray for the best results though.
    Waiting rooms can be interesting places to people watch/listen. I have heard some of the funniest things while waiting for something in different places like doctors offices. Senior citizens are a riot! 😀

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  13. When I had breast cancer this verse in Philippians chapter 1 became my guiding north star: “And in nothing terrified by your adversaries which is to them an evident token of perdition and that of God.” In other words put on a bold face. Don’t let on to the enemy you are anything but the winner in this fight. I pictured myself in a stadium, bat in hand, facing the opposition. I looked the pitcher in the eye and said throw me your worst and Jesus will knock it out of the park! Satan uses all of our circumstances to to try to drive a wedge between us and the Good Shepherd. When he does then I’m easy pickings for the lion that prowls seeking whom he may devour.

    Be thou my vision, O Lord of my heart

    Be thou my vision, O Lord of my heart,
    be all else but naught to me, save that thou art; be thou my best thought in the day and the night,both waking and sleeping, thy presence my light.

    Be thou my wisdom, be thou my true word,
    be thou ever with me, and I with thee Lord;
    be thou my great Father, and I thy true son;
    be thou in me dwelling, and I with thee one.

    Be thou my breastplate, my sword for the fight; be thou my whole armor, be thou my true might; be thou my soul’s shelter, be thou my strong tower: O raise thou me heavenward, great Power of my power.

    Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise:
    be thou mine inheritance now and always;
    be thou and thou only the first in my heart;
    O Sovereign of heaven, my treasure thou art.

    High King of heaven, thou heaven’s bright sun,
    O grant me its joys after victory is won;
    great Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
    still be thou my vision, O Ruler of all.
    Words: Ancient Irish hymn;
    trans. Mary Byrne, 1905, and versified by Eleanor Hull, 1912
    Music: Slane (Irish) .

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    • Thank you, Jan, for that beautiful inspiration. Satan knows my weaknesses, and surprisingly though it may be after reading this post, it’s actually not my experiences with cancer. It is my daughter and granddaughter. I think it all stems from having lost my brother when he was 15 (you can read my earlier post about him), and watching what my parents went through, that I had to literally turn my daughter over into the hands of God when she was very, very young in order to not be so immobilized by the fear of losing her. That fear was in the way of my being the mother I needed to be. And to this day, and now with my granddaughter, that more than anything keeps me balanced in my relationship with God. I am aware of that becoming the point of which I ‘worship’ in a way, in order to stay in His good graces per se, to obtain His protection over their health and safety – their lives. And I know that He sometimes uses the things most precious to us to get our attention. So even though it’s a very hard thing to do, I’ve come to the point where I know that I have to say – even if they suddenly weren’t here (I cringe to think how I’d make it even as I say this) – that God is still my refuge, I know He’d see me through. I’ve come to know that if I can’t say and mean that in my heart, then I’m not being honest with God and He knows it. That, above all, has taught me that I must put Him first, regardless of any and all things……As for the hymn, that was a precious memory as well – for about five years out of our lives, I was the church pianist and my Mother was the organist (back when churches used organs!) – and we enjoyed playing that hymn together! Thank you for that and all your loving support! You have a blessed day!!!

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  14. I enjoyed your thoughtful post. I agree we are more alike than different in the fact that we all truly are hopeful and wish to see goodness prevail. It seems the trivial events of everyday life sometimes get in the way and seem to throw us off course temporarily, but when we are forced to look past the silly small stuff it makes us realize how precious life is and renews and unites us with great respect for life and all living beings.
    with Respect, Hope, Joy and Love, Carmela

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    • Very well said! It is so very, very easy for me to get caught up in the day to day living and get in a hurry and not pay attention when someone right in front of me could have used a kind word and I was too busy hurrying to pay attention. It makes me feel the size of an ant later on when I think back and realize how callous I may have came across….For that, and all kinds of reasons, I’m really making a conscious effort to try to slow myself down as much as possible. Thanks for the comment and I hope you have a grand day!

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  15. i have patients in the waiting room in the place i work and i hear their conversations and look to see a huge variation of age, creed and colour so like you have described my dear. And i marvel because while politicians and lawmakers try to find a common denominator to unite a country or region you have pointed out the obvious , we are all united by our humanity, our ability to feel anothers pain and comfort each other when our lives cross, simple and straightforward. thank you for a really thoughtful look at the human soul.

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    • Thank you for your thoughtful comment. I have sat in many a waiting area and this was the first time I have been privilege to such an astounding experience. Then too, it may be that I’ve just not let myself be aware of conversations going on around me in the past. Whichever the case, it has left a profound impression on me and one I will be watching for to happen again, where I may go. This could very well be one of the keys we need to healing the hurts – by feeling that we are not so alone in our bewilder-ments. Think of me the next time you hear one of these conversations happening – hopefully good karma will fly through the airways!!

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  16. I was diagnosed in 2000 and not a mammogram goes by that I don’t hold my breath for a moment or two until I too remember it was our Lord who carried me through the initial diagnoses and kept His promise to never leave me. Yes, I still hold my breath but then the peace of God fills every core of my being. Now as I am going through a few more health issues and uncertainty with my one job His peace has calmed my fears and I am trusting Him for His will to be done as I pray for the touch of Jesus to remove all the medical issues and know He is already in my tomorrow and preparing me for both. May His Peace be with you –

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    • I don’t say this lightly – because I’ve felt the guilty pangs of telling someone I’ll pray for them and then get busy and don’t because I’d forgotten – but you will be in my prayers. I am writing your name and a brief reminder of the prayer down right now – that’s how I’ve learned to make sure I don’t forget. Your words are an inspiration to me because I know, Lord willing, I’ll be facing the momentary fear of the scan results each year. I cannot imagine how someone faces times like those without knowing the peach of God. I hope you have a truly grand day!

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      • God bless! Life contains many uncertainties (from our perspective), but I am certain God is with you. I don’t think life’s purpose is simply about living a long life, but it’s about the story you make with God as you live–whether you may face difficulties or not.

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        • I agree all the way – and I’m not wasting my present looking back on my failures of the past, but I wish I had allowed God to point me in my true purpose all along instead of doing things my own way and giving God a nod instead of a life. But – all things happen for a reason, and I’m just thankful now that He kept moving stubborn me around until He got me where He wants me.

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      • Thank you Tammi, I too write down my prayers, I bought a special date book just for prayer requests. The strength of God has seen both of us through many trials – I often pray for those that know God like you I cannot imagine how someone faces the hardships of life with His peace. God be with you and continue to fill your life with His Presence and may His Touch continue to bring you both physical healing and spiritual strength!

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    • Thank you! It means the whole to me – truthfully – to have someone pray for me! I am striving towards the same sort of daily schedule – I will get there too!

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    • What an amazing concept! I hadn’t thought of this world as ‘The Waiting Room’ — Thank YOU for sharing that! I know the Bible says there is to be an awakening, but I hadn’t really saw it as a possibility yet until this experience waiting for my scan. Maybe those people are right – I hope it’s true too! You have a blessed day!!

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